top of page
Writer's pictureSuzanne Winlove-Smith

Chapter 8: Everything Legal and Realistic Expectations During Divorce


Divorce is often one of life’s most challenging experiences, filled with emotional upheaval, financial strain, and a complex legal process. With high emotions and unresolved issues at play—ranging from child custody to asset division—it's vital to set realistic expectations. Understanding the intricacies of the divorce process can help ease the burden and guide you toward a more amicable resolution.


Understanding the Divorce Process


Divorce involves several key steps that are essential to navigating the journey effectively. Here’s what you need to know:


  1. Understand the Laws: Familiarize yourself with the laws that pertain to child custody, spousal support, and the division of marital property in your state. Each jurisdiction may have different rules that can significantly impact your situation.

  2. Choose the Filing Status: Decide whether to file for divorce jointly with your spouse, which can simplify the process, or individually, which may require serving your spouse with divorce papers.

  3. Collect Required Documentation: Gather all necessary documents, including birth and marriage certificates, financial records, and any other relevant information that will be needed throughout the process.

  4. Create a Separation Agreement: Drafting a separation agreement is crucial. This legally binding document should detail the terms of the divorce, including child custody arrangements, support payments, and the division of assets.

  5. File the Divorce: Once all documentation is in order, file your divorce paperwork with the court to initiate the legal process.

  6. Attend Court Hearings: Be prepared to attend court hearings, as many states require couples to appear in court to finalize their divorce.

  7. Obtain a Final Divorce Decree: After the court approves your divorce, you will receive a final divorce decree, outlining the terms of your separation.


Discussing Divorce with Your Spouse


Initiating a conversation about divorce can be daunting. Here are some strategies to approach this sensitive topic with care:


  1. Be in the Right Frame of Mind: Ensure you are emotionally prepared to have this important conversation. Avoid discussing divorce when under the influence of substances or when you are feeling extremely emotional.

  2. Choose the Right Time and Place: Find a private and comfortable setting where you both have ample time to discuss the matter without interruptions.

  3. Emphasize Respect: Regardless of the circumstances, express appreciation for your spouse and the time spent together. A respectful tone can help facilitate a more constructive dialogue.

  4. Be Direct and Honest: Communicate your feelings and the reasons for seeking a divorce. Honesty is crucial for understanding and closure.

  5. Seek Help When Needed: Don’t hesitate to enlist the help of a mediator or therapist if the conversation becomes too difficult to navigate alone.


Common Legal Mistakes to Avoid


During a divorce, it’s easy to make missteps that can complicate the process. Here are some of the most common legal mistakes to be aware of:


  1. Assuming Your Lawyer Has Your Best Interests at Heart: Remember that your lawyer is handling multiple cases and may not prioritize your needs. While many attorneys are ethical, be cautious of potential conflicts of interest that could affect your case.

  2. Using Your Lawyer as a Therapist: Divorce is an emotional journey, but your lawyer is not a therapist. Venting frustrations or sharing deep emotional pain can lead to costly legal bills without providing the support you need. Seek professional counselling to help you process your feelings.

  3. Not Asking the Right Questions: Your lawyer isn’t a mind reader. Prepare a list of questions before meetings, ensuring you receive clear and direct answers. If anything is unclear, ask for clarification until you fully understand.

  4. Taking Anything for Granted: Never assume anything will be handled automatically. Stay proactive and informed about your case to avoid unpleasant surprises.


Hiring a Lawyer: A Comprehensive Checklist for Navigating Divorce


Facing the possibility of divorce can be overwhelming, and one of the most critical steps in this process is finding the right lawyer to guide you through the legal complexities. Whether you’re just starting to consider divorce or have already made the decision, having a knowledgeable attorney by your side is essential. Here’s a comprehensive checklist to help you hire the right lawyer for your needs.


1. Collect Names of Potential Lawyers


Begin by gathering a list of potential lawyers who specialize in family law. You can collect names through various sources:


  • Family, Friends, and Acquaintances: Ask those you trust for recommendations.

  • Advertisements: Look for local advertisements in newspapers or online.

  • Referral Services: Use lawyer referral services from your local bar association.

  • Therapists, Support Groups, and Doctors: Professionals in related fields may know reputable lawyers.

  • Bar Associations, Professional Trade Associations, and Law Schools: These organizations often have directories of qualified attorneys.

  • Referrals from Other Lawyers: If you have a lawyer for another matter, ask for family law referrals.

  • The Courthouse: Check for lawyers who frequently practice in your area.


2. Consultation Calls


Once you have a list, call several lawyers for a free initial phone consultation. This will help you gauge their communication style and expertise.


3. Schedule Initial Appointments


Narrow down your list to your top three candidates and schedule in-person consultations. This will give you a better sense of each lawyer’s approach and how comfortable you feel with them.


4. Prepare Your Questions


Before the meetings, prepare a list of questions to ask each lawyer. Take notes during the consultations to help you compare responses later. Here are some essential questions to consider:


  • Experience and Specialization

    • How much of your practice is focused on family law?

    • How long have you been practising family law?

    • What types of cases do you handle besides family law?

    • Who else, other than you, would be working on my case and why?

    • How often do you appear in family court?


  • Approach and Philosophy

    • What have you learned since practising family law?

    • How would you advise a friend going through a divorce?

    • What are the different phases of my case? Can you briefly describe how the process works?

    • What kind of result do you think we should aim for, and is this a reasonable goal?


  • Fees and Billing

    • How do you charge, and what are your rates?

    • Do you require an advance retainer, and if so, how much?

    • How often do you bill, and what information will be included on the bills?

    • What happens if I cannot pay a bill? Will you terminate my representation immediately?


  • Reputation and Involvement

    • Do you have and what is your rating in Martindale-Hubbell?

    • Are you involved in any bar association groups related to family law?

    • Have you ever been suspended, disbarred, or reprimanded? If yes, please provide details.

    • Can you provide references from current or former clients?


5. Evaluate and Decide


After your consultations, take time to evaluate each lawyer based on their answers, your comfort level, and their approach to your case. Choosing a lawyer you feel confident with is crucial, as this relationship will significantly influence your divorce experience.


This concludes the Freedom Roadmap. We hope this content has been valuable in guiding you through your divorce process and addressing any questions you may have about navigating it.


--


Preparing for divorce requires careful organization and planning. By gathering essential financial documents, compiling personal identification and family records, consulting with a family lawyer, prioritizing child-related matters, and considering alternative dispute resolution methods, you can lay the groundwork for a smoother and more equitable divorce process.


The Clean Divorce, with its expertise in Canadian divorce proceedings, can provide the guidance and support you need to navigate this challenging life transition. Please find out more about our work at https://www.thecleandivorce.com/.


Remember, taking the necessary steps to prepare for divorce can contribute to a cleaner and more manageable separation, setting the stage for a positive new chapter in your life.

0 views0 comments

Comments


bottom of page